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How Attraction Works For Women
AN INTERESTING STORY (OR SO)...
There are two basic stories for how men and women
"start off" together, and two basic stories for how
men and women "end up".
Through all of time, I'm sure that men and women
have been playing out these stories... and I'm sure
that they'll continue to play them out long into the
future (that is, unless I have something to say about
it... and I do).
THE MEETING STORIES
Here's "Meeting Story #1":
Boy is attracted to girl. Unfortunately, boy doesn't
have a clue about how to make girl feel ATTRACTION
for him... so instead he tries to "pursue" girl by
offering her dinners, gifts, and flowers. Girl finds
boy "nice", but there are no "sparks", so she "just
likes him as a friend".
Here's "Meeting Story #2":
Boy is attracted to girl. Fortunately for him,
boy understands ATTRACTION, and begins to communicate
with girl in a way that makes her feel a powerful
physical and emotional response for boy that she can't
control. The sparks fly, and boy and girl "get together".
As I'm sure you know...
In Story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation,
and both of them know it.
In Story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
the situation.
THE STORIES OF HOW THINGS "END UP"
Let's assume that somehow boy and girl actually
"get together". Things usually go one of two ways
after that...
Here's "End Up Story #1":
Boy and girl get together. Boy realizes that he
"REALLY likes" girl. Boy begins to act more and more
predictable. Boy starts to share "how he feels" about
girl too often. Boy becomes more and more submissive.
Girl loses that feeling of ATTRACTION that she once
had for boy, and has no way of explaining or understanding
why. Girl leaves boy, and boy is left wondering what
happened.
Here's "End Up Story #2":
Boy and girl get together. Boy understands that
no matter how much he likes girl, he cannot let himself
become a Wussy who chases girl around "sharing how
he feels" and become boring. Boy keeps the relationship
interesting, and he keeps challenging girl. He stays
in control of himself, and by understanding his role
as "The Man" in the relationship, keeps girl interested
and attracted to him into the future.
And again, as I'm sure you know...
In Story #1, GIRL is in total control of the situation,
and both of them know it.
In Story #2, BOY is the one who's in control of
the situation.
If you look at your experience with women, I'm
sure you'll see that these short stories describe
MOST of the experiences you've had.
Now, of course there are slight twists and variations,
but the message is clear:
YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HOW ATTRACTION WORKS FOR WOMEN...
AND HOW TO KEEP THE ATTRACTION GOING WHEN YOU MEET
A WOMAN YOU REALLY LIKE.
If you don't understand ATTRACTION and how it works,
then you are destined to keep playing out these same
stories for the rest of your life. It's very unlikely
that you'll stumble upon the "magic solution" by accident...
ATTRACTION IS DIFFERENT FOR WOMEN THAN IT IS FOR MEN--
VERY DIFFERENT
The reality is that you CAN stop this negative
pattern if you WANT to.
But the key is:
Understanding how ATTRACTION works for WOMEN.
Understanding YOURSELF so you don't ALLOW yourself
to act like a Wussy, become boring, and turn a good
thing into a bad one... but instead you do the RIGHT
things to keep everything on the right track.
If you know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION
for you, then you can control your destiny with women.
If you DON'T know how to make a woman feel ATTRACTION
for you, then you cannot control your destiny with
women.
Read that paragraph again, and think about it for
a minute before you go on.
OK, so I mentioned that ATTRACTION is very different
for women than it is for men.
Different how?
What do I mean by that?
Well, generally speaking, for a woman, ATTRACTION
is a PROCESS... not an "event". It happens over time,
and it becomes stronger or weaker depending upon how
well the man in the situation understands how it works.
For a man, ATTRACTION is much more of an "event",
meaning that it's either there or it isn't. It really
doesn't matter whether or not the woman understands
how it works. (As an interesting side note, if a woman
really knows how ATTRACTION works, and her intention
is to manipulate a man, it usually works VERY well.)
So think of a woman's "Attraction Mechanism" more
like a volume knob than a light switch.
It's like a fantastic, classy old car that needs
to warm up for a long time before you can drive it...
not like a brand new Honda that you can start up and
get right on the freeway with.
Here's a little secret about women and ATTRACTION:
If you'll just take a little longer in every situation
to AMPLIFY a woman's ATTRACTION, she'll love you for it...
and you'll experience rewards that will make the extra
time you spent seem like the best investment of your
entire life.
Here are a few specific tips for you for the "Meeting
Phase":
Start with something STRONG, not with something
WEAK.
When a guy finds a girl interesting, he usually
turns into a ball of nervous mush. Then, he usually
makes the mistake of letting the woman KNOW that he's
nervous and weak.
Don't do it.
Do something STRONG.
Challenge her.
If she thinks that she's cool, make fun of her.
If she's smart, argue with her a little. If she's
doing something, tell her that you could do it better.
When you PUSH a little, and show some BACKBONE,
she'll push back. That's your sign that the GAME IS
ON.
If you just chase after her like the 100 other
Wussies that have been bothering her this week, you
will just be another boring, predictable face in the
crowd.
Keep the TENSION UP.
One of my favorite concepts is "Never let the line
go slack".
This means that once you SPARK the "chemistry"
or "sexual tension", you need to KEEP IT UP.
Just because she starts doing things that hint
to you that she's interested doesn't mean that it's
time to STOP. Quite the opposite, actually.
Turn UP the volume a little. It's working, so do
more!
Tease.
The word "tease" has a couple of meanings.
One of the meanings has to do with doing things
that are slightly annoying to get a response from
someone.
The other meaning is subtly different, and has
to do with drawing out a response that you want by
doing certain things that indirectly trigger it.
Do both.
If you're about to kiss her, wait until your lips
are so close that you can almost feel her... and then
STOP. Pull away, and smile.
If you want to know how she feels about you, say
"You LOVE me" in a condescending tone of voice, and
see how she responds. If she says "NO I DON'T!" in
an exaggerated, mocking way, then she probably DOES
"love" you.
Teasing is fantastic. Do more of it.
And here are a few tips for the "End Up" phase:
Never become BORING.
Being predictable and boring is a cardinal sin
when it comes to ATTRACTION.
Don't do either.
Of course, telling a man not to be predictable
is like telling a dog not to hump your leg.
Most guys are PAINFULLY predictable.
We LIKE being predictable, actually. I get it.
But when it comes to a woman you enjoy, you'd better
figure out a way to STOP IT.
There's nothing that will kill the sparks faster
than her knowing what you're about to do or say.
Don't hand over control.
Women like men who make decisions and take the
lead. Now, I'm not saying that women like men who
are overly controlling. What I am saying is that
women don't like guys who are always saying things
like "I don't know, what do YOU want to do, baby?".
Women don't want men that they can control, so
don't be one.
Respect yourself, and keep your own interests.
When a guy meets a woman he likes, he often wants
to spend as much time as possible with her.
This is natural, of course.
But there's a big danger here, as well.
If you put your life aside for a woman, you will
become less interesting to HER.
In the long run, it's MUCH better to keep your
friends, your interests, and your hobbies, and to
spend time doing the things you enjoy... WITHOUT
HER.
And I think it's VERY important to keep improving
yourself as a person, and continue to be a guy that
she can look up to and respect.
As soon as you start acting like she's going to
be around forever, she'll start feeling less and less
ATTRACTION for you.
THE BIGGER PICTURE
Now, as you read these examples, can you see the
bigger picture forming?
Can you see the deeper message?
The deeper message is that you need to understand
how ATTRACTION works for women, and you need to do
those things that keep the ATTRACTION BUILDING FOREVER.
Now, where does this all begin?
It begins with YOU.
And it begins with you learning how to control
yourself and your emotions. It begins with you needing
to understand the history of how and why men and women
become attracted to each other. It begins with you
learning the basics of how to use subtle body language
and communication to make women feel ATTRACTION for
you.
And what's the best way to get this "in depth"
education?
It's my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
It's over 12 full hours of me teaching all of my
best concepts for meeting and dating women, including
everything from the history and psychology of ATTRACTION,
to how to improve your self image and overcome your
fears of approaching women to how to meet women in
every situation... including online.
This program contains HUNDREDS and HUNDREDS of
the best ideas and techniques for meeting women...
all in one place... and all digitally recorded and
edited.
All the details are here, along with some great
free audio and video samples:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/
10000/AdvancedSeries/
And if you'd like a great introduction to my ideas,
then you need to go and download my online eBook "Double
Your Dating".
It's jam packed with great information,
and you can go download it right now here:
http://www.DoubleYourDatingSystem.com/e/
10000/Ebook/
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story,
Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
- Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs
max.
- Tell me what's working for you before you ask
your question. I appreciate all of the "Your
stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how
well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is
that I DO need to hear all of the specifics...
because this helps other guys to see what's
working in different situations.
- If you have a Success Story, write "Success
Story" in the subject line of the email. I read
these first.
- At the end of the email, give me your initials
and tell me where you're from.
- Send it to me at:
SuccessStories@DoubleYourDating.com
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